365 Days Later
Today marks one year of unveiling the blog. I can remember sitting in one of the eclectic coffee shops back in my parent's hometown after a couple vanilla lattes, with knots in my stomach and sweaty hands I hit the submit button to release the blog.
You see, creating a website where my writings would be exposed was the last thing I wanted to do. It took me a bit of time to come to terms with being okay with writing in general. I never saw myself as someone who would write, ever.
I thought creating a website with my name was prideful, as if I'd be looking for attention through it. I never liked attention, I liked being unnoticed so that if I was noticed, it wasn't in a negative way. I wasn't recognizing that the real issue of pride I was struggling with was the possible damage my name might receive if I didn't write well enough, correct enough in my study of the word, or uninteresting enough. I feared what people I looked up to and the people around me might think. I was more concerned with the persecution I would possibly receive than the honor to obey God so that He would be glorified.
I knew what God was calling me to do and He made sure to confirm it time and time again- to write. Through the support system around me I was held accountable to step out.
Little did I know what was on the other end of the obedience. God moved in spite of my short comings. He brought beautiful friendships into my life through writing, ones where we could sharpen, pray for, and encourage one another. He gave me words to write when I had no idea what to say. He spoke to the people He wanted to speak to and knew what they needed to hear. He used testimonies I thought would add up to nothing only to minister to someone who was currently walking through something similar and point them to Himself. He truly showed me that if there was anything good that came from writing, I could not take the credit for it- it was all Him. He shook idols from my hands and taught me more about Himself. He changed me and He is continuing to do so. I didn't write a lot and I wrote far from perfectly but He confirmed time and time again to keep going.
Looking back on the past 365 days, the biggest take away which I would like to leave you with is this: It's not about me. Whether you are called to glorify God as a parent, in the workplace, in your marriage, in your singleness, in ministry, wherever you find yourself- it's not about you.
It's all about Him being glorified.
When it comes to writing, it's not about me writing the most perfect piece or running after having the most followers compared to other writers. I should be obedient to depend on God so that He can speak what He wants to speak. I should strive to cultivate this gift and grow in excellence but from a heart of worship and for the Gospel to be known- not to prove myself.
God calling you to something has nothing to do with you finding your identity or self within the calling or gift. This life He has given you does not belong to you, but to Him and for Him. Any gift which He gives you is simply a tool that's purpose is to serve and point others to Christ, not fulfill your identity. Christ already lived the perfect life and died in your place for your identity to be found as a son or daughter of God.
Be obedient- no matter how big or small it is. As you rely on Him and carry your cross (Luke 9:23), He is with you and you will be satisfied in Him. This is who our good God is- the One who created a wonderful earth where we would walk with Him, even though we disobeyed Him- He saved us through His son and one day He will make all things right. This is the God who deserves all of our worship, through whatever He calls us to. Let His name alone receive all the glory.