What's So Wrong With Always Having To Be Right?

Do you know a certain somebody who might just have a major issue with always needing to be right? Annoying, right? Let me be the first to admit, I would constantly try to avoid these types of people, before I recognized that I too struggled with the same issue. It's interesting how we lack to be self-aware of certain sins we ourselves are committing until the Lord sheds the light of His powerful Gospel upon our weak and frail idols.

Through all the hormones of my teenage years, I often found myself trying to get the last word in with my parents, the passion of needing to be right bubbled up from within me. Even as I entered college; I may not have flipped out, but I made sure that I wasn't the one walking away looking "stupid" or "wrong" in a disagreement with friends. I later found myself suppressing anger as a young adult whenever someone told me that I was in the wrong. It made my blood boil. As I grew older, I found myself maturing (as in- not raising my voice or throwing a tantrum) but internally, I was not processing these situations correctly. The issue with always having to be known as "right" controlled the way I viewed (and therefore treated) myself and others.

So you might be thinking, "Kellie, what is so wrong with always having to be right? It feels good when I walk away after proving that I'm right..."

Well, my friend, sin has a way of temporarily appeasing your feelings but it will later (if not instantly) negatively place a damper upon you and the relationships around you (James 1:14-15). Most importantly, having to always be right points directly to the root issue of our pride.

Proverbs 11:2 NIV
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Being consumed by pride positions us to ignore what Christ accomplished at the Cross. In ways, we are denying the idenity Christ alone gave us when we strive to prove our own definition through our humanly limited intellect (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Let me be clear, we should absolutely stand up to defend truth that is in line with the Bible. There will be many times where God calls us to gracefully fight for matters that are God-honoring. But when our selfish ambition and pride gets in the way to prove ourselves among others, or we do this in a disresepectful manner -we are doing the exact opposite of glorifying God (Galatians 1:10).

Our pride gets in the way of humbling ourselves and resting in the beautiful and undeserved gift of being made right with God.

Romans 3:24 NLT
"Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins."

Why are we so busy fighting to have the last word when Jesus Christ has already had it? He has overcome the world, defeating death and your sin. Let's take His last words on the cross seriously, "It is finished!" (John 19:30). As we look to the Gospel, we find that the idol of pride in ourselves is a weak one, for we all fall short and are in need of a Savior (Romans 3:23). You no longer have to try and prove yourself by "always being right", for a reputation created by your own works is not enough and fails in comparison to Christ's finished work (Isaiah 64:6).

When we are faced with the temptation to always be right, let's fix our eyes upon Christ and put to death the sin of pride. Confess to one another daily if needed. Step back from a heated conversation and ask yourself if you are honoring God through the conversation. Are you treating that person with love and respect? Placing them before yourself? Let's remind one another that our true definition is found in Christ, not in how "right" or "wrong" we were in that conversation you'll probably forget about weeks from now.

As we humble ourselves daily and reflect on the Gospel, let's allow it to well up a response of worship. For we do not deserve the gift of right-standing with the Father, but He lavished His love upon us and brought us out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). As we boast in what He alone has accomplished, let's submit our lives to following Christ- not our pride. 

Kellie Martin