Who You Tryin’ to Impress?

Have you ever taken the 5-love-languages quiz before? Turns out my favorite to give and receive (besides sending hilarious GIFs) is the love language of affirmation. I love words. If you’ve ever received a card from me, you know it was far from a short one. And I love being reassured and affirmed by words. Though using words to encourage one another can be a great gift, it can also be a great weakness when depended upon for my source of peace.

For me, I’d find my peace in keeping the peace with everyone around me. As much as I liked being liked, the desire for the approval from people actually began to rob the peace I so longed to attain. The enslavement to jump through hoops for people’s affirmation only exhausted me, when I didn’t receive approval it crippled me with anxiety, and even if I did attain some bit of “peace” from people’s praise, it didn’t last forever. Like a rollercoaster, I’d be high off approval one moment and devastated by people’s disapproval the next. Funny how we can go through life thinking we can attain a slice of peace in people’s opinions of us when it’s actually robbing us from finding true peace in Christ.

”For they loved human praise more than praise from God.” John 12:43 NIV

If we were to take a step back and look at the motives behind our every day actions they’d show us a lot about whose praise we love the most. They’d show us who in fact—we are truly worshipping. I don’t know about you, but I’ve worshipped the approval of man countless times and it only failed me. Do we ever recognize why we spend our money and time on certain things? Or dress and act a certain way? Why we post certain posts on social media? Why we might even be afraid to step out and speak up? Why we might constantly replay that conversation we had over and over again in our head? Why we are more concerned about what our boss might think of us more than what God says of us? In your day to day actions would you say that they are guided by your love for the Lord? Failing to see the approval and eternal peace already given to us in Christ, I looked to people for temporary approval and peace.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 ESV

In this life we will either live for Christ or we will live for man (that be ourself or others). When I was seeking the approval of man I wasn’t looking to give, I was looking to receive. I wasn’t actually looking to serve selflessly, I was looking to impress and earn a reputation. Instead of being a servant of Christ, I was actually looking to serve myself. Even confessing faith in Christ, my actions weren’t exactly matching up with the truth of the Gospel. Instead of understanding that I’ve been given right standing through Christ, I was looking to earn an identity by being “loved” by people. Instead of joyfully living for Christ because He washed away my sin and clothed me with His righteousness, I was serving my prideful and self-righteous heart—dabbling in the sin He freed me from.

Because of Christ we no longer have to waste our lives trying to impress anyone. With Christ we don’t have to work to earn right-standing, love, or approval— It’s freely given to us!!! We now get to respond in action from the fact of this free gift of grace. See, when we are so fixated on the image we are creating for others’ approval, we forget that God’s desire is to actually mold us into the image of Christ, not our own. From the position we’ve received in Christ, we can delight in Him and live empowered by the Holy Spirit to live out the life He called us to—one that reflects Him. We can take joy knowing we are His and He is ours.

What if we lived free from people’s opinions (that including our own high expectations) and rested in what Christ has given us? We’d experience the TRUE peace of Christ that surpasses understanding—peace you can’t find in people’s approval. We’d live differently. We’d live set-apart. With an understanding that we can’t add or take away from what Christ has given us, we’d be free from trying to impress but freed to serve rightly. From what Christ accomplished, our heart’s attitude towards man should be: “I hope that my actions/work serves you, not serves as an instrument for me to be rewarded with man’s approval. In Christ alone, God approves of me. Because of who He is, it is my delight to serve God and His people from a position of freedom.” Just as Christ came not to be served but to serve, we can look around and serve the people around us, not just try to impress them.

As the scripture in the Mark reminds us, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” may we not live to gain the world’s approval, may we not even live for ourselves, but may we live for Christ’s name alone. With the empowerment of the Holy Spirit I pray that we live our days poured out to serve our Savior with our heart’s crying the familiar hymn:

“Take the world, but give me Jesus;
In His cross my trust shall be,
Till, with clearer, brighter vision,
Face to face my Lord I see.”