Day Twenty Seven
Do you ever remember throwing a fit in the store as a child because your parents didn't get you candy or a toy you really, reallyyy wanted? When my parents told me "no" I just thought they were denying me something that would make me happy and that maybe my whining could convince them that I should get it. I didn't think that maybe my parents couldn't afford it, that my "want" wasn't an actual "need", or that my parents were much wiser than me and in the long wrong they were actually looking out for me.
Looking back at how I acted as a child, I'm kinda bummed I put my parents through that- they were only loving me and rightly disciplining me for good. I wonder if things would have been a little bit easier if I would have stopped complaining and just trusted that they loved me and were looking out for me. It's terribly saddening to think that when they loved me by saying no, I was ungrateful and threw a fit.
In ways, looking back at how I acted as a child in the store, I've seen myself as an adult respond in similar ways with God. If I didn't get something in life that I "want" I'd get frustrated, I might not throw a tantrum in public like a toddler, but my heart has the ability to get just as grumpy. How foolish I've been for being so caught up in something I don't have right then in the moment? When although God cares and is with me in the midst of my situation- He sees what is more important in the long run. Being denied something and disciplined in a fatherly way can develop me to reflect His goodness. But besides my character that may be matured, my true gift I've been given is Him. His fatherly love to say no to me for my good and His glory is something I shouldn't take for granted but actually worship and give thanks for. I don't deserve His fatherly discipline to shape me, yet He still loves. He has the ability to know me deeply and truly love me, unlike the "things" I wrongly assumed would. Though He may at times withhold certain things I ask for, He never withholds Himself- the true One that meets and satisfies every longing.